Happy Birthday, Dean <3

[gunoilnleather]

Author: LuneNightingale
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Valentine’s
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: PG (For incest implications)
Pairing: Wincest (Mentioning of Sam/Jess)
Notes: Italics are the music playing in the background. Annnnd…. Happy Birthday, Dean.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Supernatural or the lyrics to What Hurts the Most. Those would be Kripke and Rascall Flatts. I’d just be happy to stare at Jensen though?

 

 

The First and Last

“Sadie Hopkins.”

“Yes.”

“Sadie Hopkins.”

“What are you a broken record?” A book collided with the floor as it slid off the other end of the bed with a hard chunk. “I already said it once; do you want me to do a book report to help you get it faster, Dean?”

“Right. And someone asked you…”

“Jennifer.”

“Jennifer… wait, you mean the cheerleader chick?”  Dean smirked slowly at this as his feet slid up into the chair across from him. But the corners of his eyes were tighter and the normal tell-tale lines of a true smile were missing.

“Dean… how did you know she was a cheerleader?” Sam’s hand rose to push hard through his hair pulling as the strands escaped his fingers.

“I’m observant.” The elder Winchester smirked in amusement as he looked up at the ceiling. Still, it didn’t look right. “So… what did you say?”

“I told her I’d think about it.” Lowering down onto the edge of the bed, Sam watched his brother recline back in the chair, the front legs rising off the floor. And there was the pain again in the pit of his stomach every time he watched Dean lounge in his boxers and a t-shirt. “Dude, have a little shame.” Snatching up the pillow from beside him on the bed, he threw it at Dean.

Dean laughed lightly and caught the pillow before stuffing it behind his head and sinking further into the chair.  Watching a hand push under Dean’s t-shirt to scratch lightly at his stomach, Sam nearly held his breath. It was a simple motion. Lots of guys did it. They why was he staring? “I have shame when necessary.”

Hazel eyes lifted to meet intense green and he was forced to look away. Hiding behind a cascade of deep brown, he rubbed at the back of his neck. “Jerk.”

“Bitch.” The snark was so evident in Dean’s voice he looked up to glare at him only to stop at the sight of the corner of his lips twitching upward. “Why did you not say yes?”

“Not like I can dance anyway.” Sam looked away again grumbling under his breath.

“Is that the problem? Got two left feet, Sammy?” This time when he shot a glare at Dean, the smile went all the way into his eyes crinkling the corners. It always took him by surprise. “C’mon.”

“What?” Dean was already rising to his feet when Sam asked the question. Tracking his brother’s form walking over the carpet bare foot to the clock radio, Sam was startled from his shock when the blare of static and channel changing filled the room. “Dean…”

“Sammy, don’t make me come over there. Every sixteen year old needs to know how to dance if they plan to get anywhere in life with chicks.” Padding across the floor to Sam, the elder grabbed the collar of Sam’s shirt using the grip to haul him to his feet. It wasn’t music Sam figured Dean would ever listen to willingly… but it was the kind they’d play at school dances.

“When did you become Kevin Bacon?” Rolling his eyes, he suddenly jerked when Dean’s hand pressed into the small of his back. “Dude! What the hell?!”

“Sammy, where the little innocent act is cute, you can’t learn if you’re being all prude.” Dean snorted lightly and pressed his hand firmer to Sam’s back causing his spine to arch in sensation. Things he’d tried to never think about, only got worse when Dean pulled him close enough they were barely an inch apart. “Here.”

“Dean, no... you can’t just…” But he found his arms weren’t moving as his brother grabbed his wrists and placed his hands on Dean’s hips. His heart rate picked up and he found he couldn’t even continue to protest.  And he’d never really thought about their height difference since his growth spurt… that is until Dean slid his hands behind his neck.

“Move.” The look leveled at him by his brother was pushy and gave no room for argument. “Sammy, I hate to tell ya, Jenny here is not impressed.”

“You are not Jenny… I mean Jennifer! No…” Starting to peel away from Dean, he felt himself getting yanked right back. “Dean!”

“Sam.” Meeting that intense green stare, Dean went on. “Get a clue. No one else is here to teach you and I can tell you want to go. So… stuff it and move.”

                “You can’t be serious, Dean!” Hissing this, he was suddenly aware of just how close they were when Dean removed his hands to press against his hips. Which drew an indignant squeak out of him.

                “Cool it, princess. Your chastity is fine.” The roll of Dean’s eyes was almost missed from the close proximity. The next moment, his hips were moving in time with the music. “Just listen to the music, s’not that hard all right?”

                Sam didn’t know up from down as his fingers flexed against his brother’s hips. He nearly jumped when Dean’s hands ran up to curl around his neck.  It barely even registered that he was still moving to the music without Dean’s direction. “Who taught you to dance?”

                Tilting his head a little at the question, Dean smiled. “Me.” Meeting his gaze, Sam sent him a skeptical arched brow. “Seriously. Listening to music… learning to move with the music… s’not that big of a deal. Difference between you and me is I’m not hung up on whether or not people are staring at me.” Sam’s eyes slid down to the upward twitch of a smirk on full lips. Breathing in slowly, he looked away and about that moment Dean jumped as Sam’s foot landed on top of his. “Damn it, Samsquatch, watch your clod hopper feet.”

                “This was your idea.” Grumbling lightly, the heat was running up into his cheeks and the tips of his ears. He was about to pull away when one hand moved to grip his left hand and pulled it around to rest against the center of Dean’s back, then his right was collected into his brother’s left. Watching in a state of shock, the elder slid his right hand onto his shoulder. “Seriously, Dean?”

                “Everyone knows how to two-step, Sammy. We’re in a southern state. Conform.” Hazel ran straight to the sudden soft reddening in Dean’s cheeks. “You have to lead, all right?”
 

What hurts the most
Is being so close…

                “I don’t know how to lead, Dean.”

                “Then listen… step toward me ok?” That perfect velvet rough whisper had Sam closing his eyes. This wasn’t a good idea. “Right…” The word was breathed as he stepped forward as Dean stepped back. “Left… le- Ow…” Sam winced with Dean as he stepped on his foot again.

                “Look at me, Sammy.”  And he has never been able to tell him no.
 

 And having so much to say…
And watchin’  you walk away.

                “When we hunt… we move like we’re one person right?” All Sam could do was nod just a little still caught in peridot. “Feel me move just like that.”

                “All right.” Nodding again, it was his turn to make himself focus. Pulling Dean closer, he ignored that flutter in his stomach and prayed his hormones wouldn’t ruin this. “Ok.”

                Dean smiled slowly. “Good. Ready?” When Sam nodded, he dared to catch his brother’s eyes and hold them. “Right…” This time when he stepped toward Dean it was in sync. “Left… left.” Switching fluidly, the motion was easy and stayed in time with Dean’s gentle pull.
 

And never knowin’'...
What could’ve been.

                The feel of Dean’s thumb against his hand made his eyes half close. It was so gentle and loving in such a contrast to everything Dean made the world see him as. This was the Dean only he’d ever seen in his sixteen years of life. And every time he saw it, that pain came back to his chest and he couldn’t stop from squeezing his brother’s hand.

                “Lead me.” The words were so soft and close to his ear, Sam almost gasped and instead only closed his eyes. “I trust you.”
 

And not seein’ that lovin’ you…
Is what I was tryin’ to do.

                To this day he didn’t know how he’d done it. Taking his brother’s command as if it were personal and dancing with him like they’d been dancing for years. Sam remembered moving Dean over the floor of the motel room. He remembered the yellowed tan wallpaper and the dingy brown carpet under their bare feet. And if he thought about it closing his eyes, he could remember how Dean turned his head to say something to him and he could smell him again.

                “Ow! Sam! Pay attention!”

                Jerking out of his reverie, he turned his head into blonde hair before she pulled back to look at him with a frown. “Sorry, Jess…”

                “I thought you said you knew how to two-step, babe.” A brow rose in amusement. “You’ve stepped on my feet at least three times in one dance.”

                Laughing nervously, he pulled away from his girlfriend and squeezed her hand. “It’s been years. Never was good at it.” He could see her pout but she didn’t fight him. “Maybe another time.”

                “All right. All right.” Listening to her laugh, he managed a small smile in return. “But we’re working on this later when we get home.”

                “Sure.” He didn’t mean it. But he would say almost anything to get out of it. Because no matter how much he tried, the only person he’d ever been able to dance like that with was Dean.

                Moving back to the table, he furrowed his brow as the music started to filter in finally. That wasn’t just his memory. Looking up, he couldn’t help but look around the bar.
 

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losin’ you everywhere I go…
But I’m doin’ it.
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone…
Still harder getting’ up, getting’ dressed, livin’ with this regret…

                Leather and dark blonde. Hazel eyes snapped in the direction of those features and they were just as soon gone. Brow furrowing, he ducked his head and rubbed at his eyes. It was just the music playing with his head.

                “Hey Sam, I found this at our table…” Jess was at his side and nudging him as she held out an envelope. She grinned teasingly and poked him in the shoulder. “You need the ego boost but don’t go getting any ideas, all right?”

                That handwriting. Sammy. Staring at the envelope, he barely nodded as he opened it with more zeal than normal. Sliding the card out, he snorted a laugh at the cheesy gorilla on the front with the words ‘I’ve got good news for you this Valentine’s’. Flicking it open, the letters from the premade card had him shaking his head. ‘There’s only one of me.’ And right under it in handwritten parenthesis was ‘Cause I don’t like competition.’

                But it was the words under that that had him closing his eyes.
 

But I know… if I could do it over…
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart,
That I left unspoken.

                Snapping the card closed, he ran outside of the bar he and his friends frequented and frantically searched the parking lot. He only took a breath when he saw that black shine of metal and familiar broad shoulders leaning down to open the door. Heart catching in his throat, he didn’t get the words out the first time he tried.

                “Dean!” When he got it out, he watched that figure freeze, door half open to the car.

                After a few heartbeats, his heart slowly sank as his brother continued to get into the Impala never looking back.

                No.

                No. Running across the parking lot, he grabbed the door before it could close and was met by steady darkened green. And Sam wanted to rip his own heart out at the momentary flicker of pain that was quickly swept away in that trademark grin.

                “Oh hey, Sammy. I didn’t know you were here. I was just leaving.” Lies.

                “Just shut up and get out of the car.” Gritting his teeth, he dared his brother to argue.

                “Wow… someone is getting all dominatrix on me now that he’s a college boy.” Dean was still grinning as he slid out of the car. Sam could hear the music filtering out of the building as he rolled his eyes at his brother’s diversionary tactic. “We should get you some leather…”

                “Shut up, Dean.” Reaching out, he gripped the lapels of the familiar leather coat and pulled Dean away from the car. When he stopped, the card was held up in his fingers and he made his brother hold his gaze. “You can’t do this and just runaway.”

                “You did…”
 

What hurts the most…
Was being so close.
And havin’ so much to say…
And watchin’ you walk away.

                Wincing a little, Sam dropped his head and his jaw tensed. What could he say to that? But then he felt his left hand being pulled and soon it was pressed into Dean’s lower back. “Saved the last dance for me? They’re playing our song.” The words were soft and only slightly different from inside the card. This was wrong and so messed up. It was everything he was running away from… but soon his right hand caught his brother’s of his own volition.

                “You picked it, didn’t you?” Yeah. It would the last dance... Because no one could get Sam to dance the way Dean could.  And his brother didn’t have to confirm it. He just knew.
 

And never knowin’…
What could’ve been.

                This time there were no invisible barriers and he simply pulled Dean to him. It was less the two-step and more just an embrace. “Lead me.” Dean’s words were low and Sam almost pulled back to see if what he was thinking really was happening.  But if Dean was crying… he wouldn’t call him on it. And if Dean was just hurting… he wouldn’t deny him this.

                “All right.” As he pushed them into movement, he could hear his brother’s voice all those years ago whispering in his ear. ‘Right. Left… left.’ And those simple words written in the card ran through his mind almost like the goodbye they never really had.
 

And not seein’ that lovin’ you…
Is what I was tryin’ to do.
 

‘Save the last dance for me, Samsquatch. – D’

 

Comments

[notsodamaged.livejournal.com]

Oh my God. *smiles*

This reminds me of another coupling dancing...but omigod, the lyrics and the whole shebang of it, I can't even...!

I give thee two thumbs way way up, babe. *claps*

[gunoilnleather.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I really enjoyed writing it. It was a little like that other fic, huh? ;) Granted they're both gorgeous in their own way!

Glad you liked it, babe~

[ladycrystal-c.livejournal.com]

“Sammy, I hate to tell ya, Jenny here is not impressed.”
How did I miss this fic???
Oh, the sexual tension was killing me; and the characters voices are spot on (Samsquatch, lol).
Sexy, bittersweet (the ending) and so well written.
I enjoyed every bit of it :)